I'm a writer. I'm not declaring myself as a good one, nor a bad one, or an average. Just a person who simply dedicates a large amount of her time writing.
I started young. I think 7 or 8. I have tons of journals at home. Diaries were my best friends. They knew everything about me. At such a young age, I didn't quite know why I'm pretty obsessed with writing. I guess I liked having my small secrets and truest feelings penned down. I enjoyed the idea of having a dialogue between me and my furry notebooks, where I could write about my friends, how school was going, which chocolate cupcake made me blush, or which part of the Percy Jackson book made me cry the most.
I had compilations of short stories. Poems. Open-letters. Like many kids, I had quite an imaginary mind. I, too, wanted to be an astronaut and sometimes a fairytale princess and live in an imaginary world. And through inking my imagination onto paper, I could live it, in a way.
IN RETROSPECT: WHY DO YOU WRITE
My writing is SELFLESS. I want it to help people, on any scale, to move in the direction that they should need or want to be moving in. Or simply to move people emotionally.
My writing is SELFISH. It's like a photograph, but of words and it can live on for a thousand of years. And I want to leave something behind. I want my great-grandchildren to be able to open a century-year-old journal of mine and feel something after I'm gone.
I write for my PERSONAL FULFILLMENT. To release what's within. To capture the moment, for myself. To heal. To dream. To hope.
I write for my FUTURE SELF, who will be reading about my past self, which is my current self. I want to be able to re-lived past moments. Like how a second of someone's perfume or hearing a melody can take you straight back to a moment in the past, so quick that you hardly know what's going on.
Lastly, I write because sometimes, I honestly don't know what I think, or what I feel, until I read what I say.
HOW MY WRITING HAVE GROWN
As I get older, I can say that I have now much deeper understanding and appreciation to writing as compared to my younger years. I now fully understand when they say that words, no matter how beautifully crafted, if it's not written out of pure and careful intention is still a bad piece of paper.
I remember reading the scripture that says "let everything be done in love." Apparently, I didn't quite really comprehend what Jesus wants to convey in this message until an awakening happened. I realized that writing and then sharing your pieces to public without intention of bringing positive influence is just like throwing out your trash and letting your clueless victims consume them.
This is not the plan of God for my gift. He didn't grant me creativity to destroy. To manipulate. To toxify someone else.
MY WRITING MATTERS. It could help people see things from new perspective --through lens of hope and grace. It could bring change. It could lead people back to their faith. It could transform lives. It could tell inspiring stories of salvation and redemption. It could save someone who may be in dark places and needing to see lights at the end of their tunnels.
I often self-declare this: I am a Poet and a Poem. And if you are going to ask me now why I am more motivated to write? It's because I have Jesus. Through my story, I want people to see how the Lord is changing me and is continuously transforming me for His glory. Through my journey, I want people to be drawn back to the real Author of our lives. I want them to see how my imperfections and scars can still look beautiful once surrendered to Christ.
Life didn't get a little easier now. I'm still not living my fairytale-like life. But I found my higher purpose. Through the wisdom that God is allowing me to learn in various seasons, I am going to speak life to people. I am going to be transparent as I can, boldly declaring how difficult to go through processes of pruning and growing. How pain and disappointments had a purpose all along.
As I typed these last lines, I am quietly praying for the Lord to use this to speak life to you. May all our stories continue to point people back to our Creator. May we all continue to flourish in our beautiful walk with God. No story is too shameful if it's for God's glory.
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